ch ch ch ch changes.

my very favorite picture of my roommates and i.

well. 

it's taken me a while to figure out when i wanted to write this, and now seems like a good time.

as some of you may know, it's been a really difficult year for me. 

i've felt unhappy and out of place a good portion of the time.

(now, it hasn't all been bad. i have had some great things happen, but the bad has seemed to outweigh the good.)

i've been going home most weekends, which has been great for me.

but every sunday, i dread going back to school.

(for those who don't know, my school is about an hour and 20 minutes from home.)

and a few months ago, i was driving back to my dad's house on a saturday night, and the thought of going back to school, not just for the weekend but for the next year, and finishing my degree, terrified me.

i sat down with my dad that night and i broke down and i told him i hated school. i hated my school and i hated what i was studying.

and he said, "then do something different."

and so i am.

after these last 3 weeks of school, i won't be coming back to unc.

it sounds completely insane, to leave the university i've been at for 3 years, to change schools and change majors. 

but ultimately, i'm not doing what i love, and i don't ever want to look back at a time in my life and think, "i wasn't doing something that i loved. i had the capability to change it, but i didn't."

i've felt like unc wasn't the place for me for a long time, but i thought it was too late to change anything.

but you know what?

i'm 20 years old. it's not too late.

so in the fall i'll be going to metro state college of denver, finishing up my last 40ish credits.

and after i graduate, i'll be looking to go out of state to get a bachelor's in fashion design and merchandising.

it's a huge jump from the elementary education degree i've been working towards, but i am finally going to be doing something i'm passionate about. 

leaving is bittersweet.

for the first time in a long time, i'm excited, really excited, about what's happening in my life.

but it also means leaving the place that's been my home for 3 years.

i have grown and changed SO much in my time here.

and it means leaving the people who have become my family. 

and that is terrifying.

but here's to a fresh start.

i can't wait.