Wednesday, February 15, 2012

when it rains, it pours.

i think when i look back on my junior year of college, i'll remember it as my most memorable year (at least so far.)
as some of you may remember, we've had a few unfortunate events happen here and there.
i'm a natural scaredy cat when it comes to living on my own, but we've gotten over all of these instances pretty quickly, because there was never any real threat to us, and worrying about it doesn't make anything better. 

but yesterday, someone broke into our home.
there was a brief window of time in the morning where no one was home,  and they cut open the screen on our window, and threw a huge rock through it.
they came upstairs, into my room, and my roommate Molly's room, and they stole everything of (monetary) value to us, including our laptops, cameras, tv's, everything. they opened all our dresser drawers, touched our clothes, threw our things around. they tore our rooms apart, and then they left. 
luckily, they did not go downstairs and steal from my other three roommates. we think it's possible that when my roommate came home and discovered the broken window (then got the heck out of the house) they were still there, and decided just to leave with whatever they already had.

and i feel violated.
my home is supposed to be my sanctuary. if i can't feel safe at home, where can i feel safe?
after the police left our house yesterday, i was gone most of the day, sorting out things with my stolen possessions, and then we all went to see a movie. so we got back last night, and i was finally in my house, with no distractions, it was overwhelming.
i haven't picked up everything in my room, and that entire mess reminds me of it every time i look at it.
what i don't think those people that came into my house understand is that they have robbed us of so much more than our stuff. 
i don't want to be in my own house, let alone my own room.
i stayed at a friend's house last night, because the thought of sleeping in my own room made me sick. 
and it makes me sick, knowing that someone came into my personal space, touched all of my things, and took my computer, which has my entire personal life on it. 
i went home this morning briefly before my first class, and after my last roommate left, and i was all alone, i started to panic. and i ended up leaving 15 minutes early for my class, because i didn't want to be there by myself.

i know that this will soon pass, and we will all return to a feeling of normalcy.
but i am sad. and i am angry.
i'm sad that Molly and i lost every picture, every song, every paper from the last 3 years.
i'm angry that from now on, for as long as we live in that house, we will always be a little on edge.
i'm angry that someone i don't even know could make me feel this way, could make us feel so helpless and vulnerable.
i'm angry that it's affecting me as much as it is. 

if you would, would say a prayer, or send some good thoughts out for us?

and since i'm learning to find the silver lining in things now, maybe this will finally be our excuse to get a dog :)


  1. Abbi, this is really heartbreaking. I understand what you mean about being home alone once someone already invaded your space. It feels weird, like you could never be safe again, but time heals most things. It's disgusting that people do that kinds of stuff. Breaking into someone's house is just one of the worst things you can do to someone else. You are stealing their safety and they start feeling insecure and that's the worst feeling. Not being able to feel safe at home is just... ugh. I wish I could be there with you and send you a big hug. What I'll do it's probably not awesome or anything, but I'll write you a letter soon and let you know that even though this things happen, you are okay and you matter to a lot of people.

    I love you! Sending you and your roommates all my prayers.


  2. I'm so so sorry for you. I can't even imagine... Having someone inside your house, breaking in. It's sick. I can't understand what kind of person would do that. I'm definitely sending thoughts and prayers your way!

  3. One night a few years ago, I woke up to a guy trying to break into my house when I was alone. It was awful, and singly the most sickening thing that has happened to me. I know what you feel (though obviously without the awfulness of missing stuff or having to re-sort everything left behind). I do hope you're feeling a bit better, it took me awhile to get over the panicky, super-aware feelings myself, and that maybe you're working on that puppy!!

    As the police told me when it happened, the odds suggest that it hopefully won't happen to you again ever! (they had the chance to make my night by introducing a Hunger Games pun...they didn't. Forever judged). Sending many mental hugs your way!

  4. I know this post was a while ago, but I just discovered your blog through BBL. I saw that you go to UNC, so I'm assuming you live in Greeley? I do, too, and my house was broken into about a year ago. It was so horrible and I still have pretty bad anxiety about it sometimes, but I just wanted to let you know that God brought me through it and taught me a lot in the meantime! You can check out my blog if you want to read more about it, or you can hit me up any time you want to talk! I know exactly what you're going through, and I'm so sorry this happened to you!