obligatory thankful post.

i'm a huge fan of looking back and seeing how i felt a year, 2 years, 10 years ago.

so i know you're all sick of seeing these sappy posts, but someday i'd like to look back at this and know what i'm thankful for.

so here, in 2012, i'm thankful for:

-school. i made the right choice by transferring, and i am happier than i have been in a long, long time.

-pride and prejudice. and by extension, the lizzie bennet diaries.

-chai tea.

-doctor who.

-my job. francesca's is a wonderful company, and i have the sweetest, funniest, best co-workers in the world. how rare to actually enjoy going to work.

-carey mulligan.

-top knots and leather jackets and big gold watches.

-the writing of john green, sarah dessen, and david levithan.

-a patient mother, a caring father, a hilarious sister, an intelligent brother.

-andrew garfield and emma stone's relationship.

-parks and recreation.

-friends in states all over the country, and few a little farther out.

-my church. when i left school and moved back here, i was able to find a loving community that inspires my ever-changing faith. 

-nick, my best friend and confidante and love of my life.

-pitch perfect, celeste and jesse forever, ruby sparks, the perks of being a wallflower.

-my trip to arizona in march, where i got to spend time with 3 of my best friends in the whole wide world-kate, marci and lauren.

-liam, niall, zayn, harry and louis.

-netflix. bless it.

-the pair app, which is technically an app for couples in long distance relationship, but that leila and i use for each other.

-lady heroes, both real life and fictional. (tami taylor, the gilmore girls, buffy summers, leslie knope, and so on.)

-ed sheeran and his music. (and the fact that my very best friend in the world won tickets to a private ed sheeran concert next month and she's taking ME.)

-the internet. it's cliche, but it has brought me more happiness than i could have ever imagined, because it has brought me all of YOU. i love each and every one of you who takes the time to read the nonsense posted here, on tumblr and on twitter. you are all so witty, and kind, and some of the smartest people i know. whether we talk each day or we've never spoken at all, i appreciate you. 

i hope you had a great day today, my loves. 

(be careful out there tomorrow.)

a word on internet friends.

sometimes, you meet someone on the internet.

sometimes, that someone is sydney.

sometimes, you're so nervous about meeting her for the first time but that nervousness is gone the second you hug her.

sometimes, you stay up until 3 am the first night you're together and your body, which usually likes to be in bed by 10, doesn't mind.

sometimes, sydney pulls a pair of running shorts out of her bag to sleep in and you yell "NO" and pull the exact same pair out of your drawer. 

(sometimes, she pulls out a pair of yoga pants the next night and you have those too.)

sometimes, you spend an entire afternoon in a bookstore and you feel like you might cry, because you've found someone who wants to be there as much as you do.

sometimes, you google "twilight tattoos" and you are laughing so hard you have to lean on each other because your body can't hold itself up any longer once you know this exists. 

sometimes you go to dinner with not one, but four internet friends and you realize you have every hogwarts house represented at that table. (gryffindor, hufflepuff, slytherin, ravenclaw)

sometimes you go see breaking dawn together and you're expecting it to be kind of horrible, and it kind of is, but it's also hilarious and unexpected and the perfect storm of good and bad, and you know it will never be as good as it is with the 4 people you saw it with.

sometimes, you watch buffy the vampire slayer with the person who inspired you to watch it and you scream and you cry and it all comes full circle.

and sometimes, you drive sydney to the airport after the shortest 4 days of your life and you hug her and she yells "THIS IS THE DARKEST TIMELINE" and it is, and you drive home and you try not to cry because you've found a soulmate and a best friend and she doesn't live next door to you.

i've been fortunate enough over the past year and a half to meet several of my dearest friends from the internet, and i am always so shocked at how effortless it is. 

i think we've got a special piece of the world that not everyone understands, when we become friends with someone who lives halfway across the state/country/world. we get to know them by talking talking talking, all the time, and by the time we meet, if we're ever fortunate enough to do so, it feels like visiting an old friend, instead of a new one. 

i know chris hansen will tell us it's a bad idea, and in some cases people are weirdos, but i've found more often than not, people are good and kind.

have a good start to your week tomorrow loves. i hope you had a great weekend.

lately.

loving:

nick. i know that's cliche and i don't want to be ~that girl on my blog, because i know i love him and you know i love him so we don't need to talk about it all the time. but this man is patient, and kind, and is loving me through all the crazy that i am.  it's been a rough couple of days lately, and i read this article in a magazine that was like "are you a highly sensitive person??" so i took the quiz and to no one's surprise, i am. the day after the election i was feeling so run down by seeing negativity everywhere, so nick, saint that he is, took me to see wreck it ralph. it was the CUTEST movie, and i was feeling so much better, until i checked my phone and had several texts from friends telling me about the horrible things people had been saying to/about them. poor nick. i spent the entire car ride sobbing, going "i don't know why people are so mean!" and luckily he did not tell me to suck it up, or rub some dirt in it, or whatever men say to each other. he just holds my hand, or kisses my forehead, or tries his hardest to make me laugh. i have done nothing to deserve someone this patient, so i am grateful for him. 

reading: 

why we broke up. it is SO good and y'all should read it. but it's about to be put on the back burner, because REACHED COMES OUT TODAY. last year when crossed came out, lauren and i read the entire book in a day and exchanged over 300 texts about it. it was beautiful. 

but i also need to mention, if you didn't see my 7 tweets about it, you HAVE to read every day by david levithan. i believe every once in a while, a book comes along that changes the way you read. this is one of those books. read it.

watching:

buffy the vampire slayer (still.) at this point i can't even tell if i like this dumb show anymore or if i just like the feeling of my heart being ripped out and spit on, over and over and over again. 

anticipating:

SYDNEY IS COMING TO SEE ME. IN TWO DAYS. we are going to laugh and cry and watch buffy the vampire slayer and cry and just sit around and just soak up each others awesomeness and cry.

listening to:

red. specifically, all too well.

for those of you who listen to taylor's music and love all too well as much as i do, here's a great visual that my friend bridget sent to me, and i'm pretty it is actually a self portrait.

(also, once i get it in my hot little hands, one direction's new album.)

working on:

cleaning and organizing my room.

ha. ha ha. ha ha. ha. ha. ha ha. ha ha. ha ha ha ha.

wishing:

i was better at nanowrimo. the first day i was like "YES, THIS IS MY YEAR! I CAN DO THIS! I CAN WRITE A NOVEL!" and by the second day i was like "no, maybe next year. i cannot do this. i cannot write a novel." and now the nanowrimo people keep sending me all these emails being like "keep writing! your novel is on it's way!" and "meet with other writers in your area to share your progress!" and i'm like "i cAN'T, I DON'T EVEN REALLY HAVE ANY PROGRESS TO SHOW THEM."

how are YOU?

cruise.

better late than never?

here's waaaayyy too many pictures of the cruise mama and i went on for my 21st birthday.

we had the best time. 

i'm ready to go back.

we shopped in cozumel, went to a private beach in belize, went ziplining and held monkeys in roatan, and swam with the dolphins and the stingrays in grand cayman. 

i sang karaoke (!!!), was a contestant on a "game show," and won harry potter trivia ON my birthday. 

it was beautiful and relaxing and so fun to spend time with my mom, just me and her.

obligatory "king of the world" picture

my new boyfriend. sorry nick.

 stingrays are weird.